Grass always seems greener on the other side.  But is it real or an illusion?  Relationships are tricky and especially if you have been with your partner a while you might wonder if this is truly the person that is meant for you.  Is it wise to wonder about the what ifs, or should you just be content with the love you have currently?  The concept of “as good as it gets” correlates with the concept of contentment, or whether your needs are sufficiently being met romantically.  The best way to find peace with your decision is to make sure you eliminate the chances for unhealthy assumptions or behaviors in your relationship.  Below, we have compiled a few ways to test whether or not you are enjoying a healthy union.

1. Do You Feel Safe?

You can test the safety of your dynamic if you both are comfortable to be authentic selves.  Can you relax when you are with each other, or do you feel like one or both of us need to hide behind a mask or two?  When you hide aspects of your personality you are constantly have to battle the anxiety of potentially being judged.  When you can enjoy and treasure each other, even in the worse of times you can be confident you are in a healthy relationship.

2. Were You Drawn to Each Other’s Personality?

Let’s face it looks fade and money or status can disappear suddenly.  However, one’s personality is unlikely to change.  Think about how your quirks are received by each other?  Do you find them mostly cute and endearing or cringeworthy and obnoxious?  If you are constantly saying “I love them, but….” or wishing your partner would change X,Y, or Z then you might want to reevaluate your relationship status.

3. Conflict Management

Relationships aren’t always about the good times.  Conflicts and uncomfortable conversations arise suddenly. If you can face these difficult situations head-on, and even find the silver lining in the absurdity, then you mostly likely have a healthy relationship.  Remember, it is normal to argue, but its how you both are willing to share and listen to one another that can make or break your love.

4. Can You Appreciate the Little Things?

If you and your partner can openly express gratitude, even for the mundane, then you are in a healthy relationship.  This can be as simple as saying thank you for taking in the trash or plucking out a back hair, or as grand as celebrating a birthday.  When you both can find enjoyment and opportunity in all things then it can allow you both to be better equipped to handle the rougher moments in life.

5. Does Your 5000^th Meal Out Still Feel like Your First Date?

Fulfilling love means you constantly understand how your partner fits into the bigger picture.  This means you periodically text them during the day to see how they are feeling or buying them a special treat during your grocery run.  When you show them that you can prioritize them in the middle of your chaotic day, or you still get butterflies when they kiss you, you both are experiencing a healthy romance.

6. Are You Codependent on Each Other?

To be in a healthy partnership, each person must feel like that have space to explore their own needs and interests.  Each member must have the ability to grow and trust in their own personal abilities, if not your love is essentially doomed.  As you both build confidence in yourself and your personal path, you can grow in tangent and be a healthier support to one another during the tricky times.  To be in a successful relationship, you can’t be running a three-legged marathon.

7. How Kind are You to Each Other?

Kindness and responsiveness can be overlooked, until it suddenly disappears.  When partners are genuine, loving and empathic it is a clear sign they are truly invested in each other’s well-being and success.  Healthy dynamics focus on individual and couple growth, while being open to exciting opportunities to move forward together.  If you sincerely feel your partner is kind, loving and receptive don’t take your romance for granted.  Your relationship truly is as good as it gets.