Resolving Conflicts

There is always a reason that someone will be in our life, even if it is negative at first.  Always know there is a learning period and learn to forgive and let go of things.  Pay attention to how you are living and learn to move forward.

If you are in a conflict with someone try not to ruin your relationship.  Conflict is normal and a normal part of being in a relationship.  People are used to fighting and if they don’t fight, they will run and sometimes neither of the choices are the best.

We have to find a way to handle conflict without there being fear.  Even though we want to avoid conflict because it can lead to emotional and physical problems, when handled correctly, it can be a positive time of change and growth.

Here are some ways to make sure you handle conflict well:

Be Grounded

If you get upset, take a moment before you decide to react.  Don’t do or say anything you will regret.  Pay attention to yourself and see if you are emotional about something else or if you are just tired or hungry.  Address your needs and then pay attention to see if it makes you feel better.  You can always do things like exercise or stretching to release some stress and tension.

View Conflict

Try to view conflict from a different perspective than just your own.  Make sure you know why you are mad.  Did someone already make you mad before you reacted to something else?  Address the person you are mad about and do not take it out on other people.  Pay attention if something is deeper and you need to make a change.  Choose who you are going to fight with.  Address things only when they are important.

Non-verbal Behavior

Pay attention to how you are reacting with your body.  Is your facial expression angry or are you throwing your hands around?  You are always sending messages with your body language.

Don’t Add More to It

If there is physical or verbal abuse that you are taking, this is not okay.  There should be behaviors that do not happen when there is a conflict such as attacking someone and their character or being hostile.  Don’t roll your eyes or shut down.  Never see yourself as a victim.

Show Empathy

If you understand how someone is feeling and see how you are making them feel, try to calm down and be empathetic.  Make sure that you are kind and that you see things from their perspective.

Be Responsible

Don’t wait for everyone else to own up to what they did wrong, own up to your own mistakes.  Show integrity because this makes you strong.  Always be sincere when you say you are sorry.

Be Assertive

Do not ever be weak or passive.  On top of that, don’t be aggressive or passive aggressive either.  Be present and don’t bring up issues that happened a long time ago.  Say what you need to say and be willing to compromise.  Be direct and appropriate to people.

Communicate to people face to face and not over text or email.  Sometimes these things can be misunderstood.  Explain why you feel a certain way without being rude or mean.

Flexible

Understand that you need to listen and hear what someone is saying.  Clarify what they are asking and what answer you are giving them.  Look for a way to compromise.

Focus

There are going to be things that you need to focus on that you can change.  If you cannot change something, let it go or else your relationship will never work out.  Don’t be upset if you cannot control everything.

Forgive

Always forgive someone when there is conflict, even if they don’t say they are sorry.  If you want to move on, consciously decide you are going to and then move forward.  All of this helps you to grow and even negative things can help you to grow in ways you never expected to.

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