7 Ways to Handle Jealousy
It comes over you suddenly. That little green-eyed monster causes your stomach to turn and your mind to fill up with imaginings that bear little resemblance to the truth. Sometimes, you act impulsively out of it, leading to regret and embarrassment. Jealousy is a tough monster to tackle, but everyone who wants a healthy relationship must face this demon head-on.
Why Does Jealousy Exist?
There are two reasons for jealousy. One is anthropological and the other is emotional. Those who subscribe to evolutionary changes suggest that men have an innate need to make sure any babies are there while women have an instinctive need to make sure their man provides security and support.
Modern couples deal more with the emotional side of jealousy. That can include people having fears of being rejected, an unhealthy view of love, or control issues. No matter what the initial feelings are, the root problem in all these situations is fear. Those who have ongoing jealousy issues can tame that beast if they establish the following six practices in their lives.
Don’t Act It Out
Too many times, people act out immediately on their feelings. The problem with that is feelings tend to be wrong. The way to handle this dilemma is to understand that you are feeling the emotion but don’t need to act on it. Remind yourself there could be other explanations that what is going through your head. Take a step back to consider these other options.
People tend to start acting defensively when they meet their love after a suspicious interaction. This is a bad move. Your significant other has no clue why you are acting this way. Your behavior signals a silent accusation they are unaware of and you have no proof to convict.
Part of this is to also stay open and vulnerable. Remember, you have no real reason to not trust your partner. Until something else proves certain, you should act only on what you know.
Express Yourself Softly
Dealing with this type of situation is never easy. You need to talk to your partner, but should do it in such a way that doesn’t inflame the situation or accuse your partner. Some try to ask sneakily, but that typically fails also. When people do that, the motivation is to somehow catch them in a lie and an argument starts.
The best way to handle it is direct without accusation. Tell your partner what you saw, read, heard, and that you weren’t spying but it concerns you. Ask them what it was about and be ready to accept their answer. The key thing is to put it aside in your mind and heart once you get an answer.
Be Grateful for You
A root of jealousy is self-esteem issues. When something thinks they aren’t good enough, they immediately jump to jealousy in any given situation. Those dealing with jealousy issues need to remind themselves they have loads of excellent qualities and their significant other chose to be with them. They aren’t competing with anyone else for attention.
Failures of past relationships can affect people in the current life. You may think they are in the past but negative feelings can creep up unexpectedly. Be aware of past issues you carry from other relationships and deal with them. Your partner will be forever grateful. They should have to pay the price of a previous lover’s actions.
Trust Your Partner
This is something you will need to build over time. Even so, trust is something that should be constantly building and moving forward on. If this is a difficult thing for you, talk to your partner about your challenges and ask them to help you develop this part of you. Outline some reasonable ways they can do that and, in return, what you will do to show your trust.
It could be equally as hard to trust yourself if you have these types of issues. You need to believe that your love is solid enough to withstand temptations. Trust yourself to live a life without regrets.
Jealousy is destructive. It is a poison that will destroy even the best relationships. You can prevent it from infiltrating your love life by working these strategies into your world.